Randoms (6)

I have get these things off my chest. They tickle my mind late at night and serve to distract me during the day. Sometimes it's the little lingering, unresolved thoughts that produce the most stress. At any rate... here are my "randoms," part six.

• Yesterday was my first day as a stay-at-home mom.  I originally anticipated Monday being my first day, but my family hated my oatmeal, I did not work out, or go to the park and then I stayed up really late talking with husband and drinking wine.  YES, yesterday was a better day to officially begin...with fresh muffins made, a coffee and play date with friends complete, a walk to the park - check, my workout finished and a healthful dinner on the table when Michael came home...   I'm all about solid beginnings. 
• I finally celebrated my 30th birthday (un-pregnant) this weekend.  I haven't been really able to count myself 32 until I officially partied.  I know, what am I? 21?  NO, clearly.  But I'm just the kind of person who needs to celebrate milestones with significant friends and family and, wine.  It was a lovely weekend marked by life-changing conversations. I really do have beautiful, life-giving, honest, intelligent friends.  I am blessed. And now I can really begin my 30's, or begin again. 
• I began strong with my #30DayShred micro-blog on twitter (cityflicker) but puttered out this weekend while a friend was in town and parties were had.  I started again yesterday but I'm really bad at new, new beginnings.  I abhor starting after failing.  Time to get over myself, I suppose.
• I'm truly hating this workout experience.  I'm simply not motivated by a man-woman screaming at me and telling me I'm pathetic if I can't do 30 push-ups.  I just don't get off on negative re-enforcement. I already think I'm pathetic in this realm.  Thanks Julian, for confirming the obvious.  I'll be excited when this is over and I can re-join weight watchers and loose weight and maintain body image issues on my own terms.  Why I try to be something I'm not, only to become discouraged at failure, is beyond me. 
• It's finally sinking in that Michael is done (DUN) with grad school. It's great having him around and I'm getting quite used to his help and his desire to give me freedom after 6pm. I feel lucky to have a man who fathers because he loves his children.  It's not babysitting; it's parenthood. Also, he vacuums. And does laundry. And makes breakfast every morning. In these ways, he's a little like my father. Engaged. I adore him and am proud to be his wife. I wouldn't want anyone else to father these babies.
• Father's Day was slightly anti-climatic, except the ribs. Oh the ribs.  YUM.  We had a busy, wonderful weekend and for that I am happy but I felt slightly pathetic. I didn't even really get him a CARD. Oh well, we go on a date tonight and the family women got him and the guys Pirate tickets so the men can go watch the Pirate's loose (oops, I mean, win?).  That should be a good time.  (My contribution is the tailgate food & beer.  Any ideas?)
• Change is coming for the CityFlickers, folks. I can feel it in my bones.  There is movement happening all around us and while change is hard, it is also exciting. 
• I feel obligated to warn you, some interesting posts are coming your way. I had a friend tell me once that she no longer prescribes to any religion and at the time, I found it odd.  I find it less odd today than I did then.  I find it less odd today than I did a week ago.  Religion. Faith expressions. Morality. Right and wrong. Censorship. Self-imposed regulations. Comparison. Being loved outside of the institution. Systems. Winning favor. Church, oh CHURCH! ...Jerusalem, Oh JERUSALEM, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.  Enough said for now.
• Having a date night tonight. I'm very excited.
• It is hot as hades. I literally cannot go outside.  Neither the children nor I do well in the heat.  AC all the way, baby!

Have a good week.