People keep asking how breastfeeding is going. And I keep shrugging and saying, fine. Because most of the time, I've noticed people don't want my often lengthy responses. That, or they're just being polite. Or they're what I call part of the Breastfeeding Nazi Regime and I'm scared to say anything considered "breastfeeding irreverent." (lest I get called the anti-Christ for not thinking it's the best thing ever.) The truth is, I did not think I would breastfeed for even three months. I told myself just to make it to Christmas and then re-evaluate (Selah's three month birthday).
Let me be honest, formula IS easier sometimes. Babies sleep longer stretches on formula, other people can feed them so they're not so dependent on mother (which I think makes them friendlier - less separation anxiety). You can tell EXACTLY how much they've eaten which is helpful in detecting when they are getting sick or in the midst of a growth spurt. There is no need for breast pads and there isn't nipple soreness or engorgement or dietary restrictions (caffeine & alcohol & tobacco products), etc...
There are however a plethora of reasons breast is best. The health benefits for infants are amazing, especially in these early months of life when they are just beginning to develop their own immune systems. And for mother, it's extremely helpful for weight loss. Also, it's free! And formula is expensive. Toward the end of Nico's one year on formula, we were dishing out $35 a week. That's like, more than I spend on wine! Lastly, when packing a diaper bag for a breastfed baby, there is no need to worry about water, pre-measured formula powder, liners, bottles, the right kind of nipple, etc... As long as I have my boobs, I'm set to go. (Though with my ever-forgetful mom-brain lately, I'm surprised I HAVEN'T somehow lost by own boobs...Though they're pretty hard to miss these days.)
So here I am, fulfilling my commitment to re-evaluate breastfeeding at Selah's three month mark. And much to my surprise (and probably the surprise of lots and lots of people who have listened to me boohoo about breastfeeding), I can't imagine NOT breastfeeding for many, many more months.
It's not just the practical reasons stated above that have helped me to come to this decision but I've discovered a few things about breastfeeding that have, in a sense, inspired me to continue.
First and foremost, it's only in America that we make breastfeeding so, so...oh, how do I say this?, F-ING HARD and COMPLICATED and TABOO, or otherwise, such an inconvenience. I used to think my entire life (socially & work-wise) would be altered by breastfeeding but that's just not true. After reading article and blog after article and blog, like this and this, I now realize there is no need to be so stressed about feeding in public or drinking alcohol or pumping, etc. Some of the over-sensationalized information we get here in the US is because doctors are FREAKED out by lawsuits so they tell us worst case scenario as if that's the norm. (Don't have a sip of alcohol or your breastfed baby will get drunk and die of liver disease.) And Americans in general are just ridiculous when it comes to breasts. (Must run for cover if you're out and need to breastfeed because a naked boob is EXTREMELY offensive to the general public.) But these kinds of exaggerations and stupid social norms are not based in truth or reality, so why would I govern my life around them? I won't. (Bottoms up and boobs out, baby!)
Secondly, although there are some annoying aspects of breastfeeding (being the ONLY one who can feed my baby, needing to pump 2x or 3x a day in my office, her strong preference of ME over anyone else to comfort her, greater challenges in getting her on a schedule) I quite enjoy the bonding, YES I SAID IT, the bonding it has created between us. She needs me, and I need her. It's a natural and healthy co-dependency that I am surprised I enjoy. Skin on skin, the snuggles and eye contact, the cooing of satisfaction and the release of endorphins. I know, from a non-attachment parenting style mother, it's different for me to be so pro- ? whatever this is. I'm less rigid this time around, less baby wise. It's a whole new aspect of parenting that I am discovering with my girl! And I love it, similarly to how much I loved discovering that formula was the best way for me to parent Nico.
As a mother of two babies, my oldest being only 16 months, I am AMAZED and a little melancholy at how FAST time flies when it comes to raising children. Before I know it, my little baby girl will be a giant, mess-making, sippycup-demanding, stair-climbing, one year old monkey like my son. She will be off the boob and disinterested in snuggles. The little bunny-slipper, soft-cooing, sweet-breath baby window closes in the blink of an eye. So why not cherish it; every last nipple-sucking part of it (especially since it's going so well this time around)?
Lastly, I am sort of inspired and fascinated by what I am discovering about breastmilk/feeding and am learning some life lessons from this experience. For instance, the requirement to sit still and relax - forcing stress and worry to leave my mind in order to properly "let down" is live-changing! Everyone should learn how to make body, mind, and heart be at peace and rest and calm in an instant!
Let me be honest, formula IS easier sometimes. Babies sleep longer stretches on formula, other people can feed them so they're not so dependent on mother (which I think makes them friendlier - less separation anxiety). You can tell EXACTLY how much they've eaten which is helpful in detecting when they are getting sick or in the midst of a growth spurt. There is no need for breast pads and there isn't nipple soreness or engorgement or dietary restrictions (caffeine & alcohol & tobacco products), etc...
There are however a plethora of reasons breast is best. The health benefits for infants are amazing, especially in these early months of life when they are just beginning to develop their own immune systems. And for mother, it's extremely helpful for weight loss. Also, it's free! And formula is expensive. Toward the end of Nico's one year on formula, we were dishing out $35 a week. That's like, more than I spend on wine! Lastly, when packing a diaper bag for a breastfed baby, there is no need to worry about water, pre-measured formula powder, liners, bottles, the right kind of nipple, etc... As long as I have my boobs, I'm set to go. (Though with my ever-forgetful mom-brain lately, I'm surprised I HAVEN'T somehow lost by own boobs...Though they're pretty hard to miss these days.)
So here I am, fulfilling my commitment to re-evaluate breastfeeding at Selah's three month mark. And much to my surprise (and probably the surprise of lots and lots of people who have listened to me boohoo about breastfeeding), I can't imagine NOT breastfeeding for many, many more months.
It's not just the practical reasons stated above that have helped me to come to this decision but I've discovered a few things about breastfeeding that have, in a sense, inspired me to continue.
First and foremost, it's only in America that we make breastfeeding so, so...oh, how do I say this?, F-ING HARD and COMPLICATED and TABOO, or otherwise, such an inconvenience. I used to think my entire life (socially & work-wise) would be altered by breastfeeding but that's just not true. After reading article and blog after article and blog, like this and this, I now realize there is no need to be so stressed about feeding in public or drinking alcohol or pumping, etc. Some of the over-sensationalized information we get here in the US is because doctors are FREAKED out by lawsuits so they tell us worst case scenario as if that's the norm. (Don't have a sip of alcohol or your breastfed baby will get drunk and die of liver disease.) And Americans in general are just ridiculous when it comes to breasts. (Must run for cover if you're out and need to breastfeed because a naked boob is EXTREMELY offensive to the general public.) But these kinds of exaggerations and stupid social norms are not based in truth or reality, so why would I govern my life around them? I won't. (Bottoms up and boobs out, baby!)
Secondly, although there are some annoying aspects of breastfeeding (being the ONLY one who can feed my baby, needing to pump 2x or 3x a day in my office, her strong preference of ME over anyone else to comfort her, greater challenges in getting her on a schedule) I quite enjoy the bonding, YES I SAID IT, the bonding it has created between us. She needs me, and I need her. It's a natural and healthy co-dependency that I am surprised I enjoy. Skin on skin, the snuggles and eye contact, the cooing of satisfaction and the release of endorphins. I know, from a non-attachment parenting style mother, it's different for me to be so pro- ? whatever this is. I'm less rigid this time around, less baby wise. It's a whole new aspect of parenting that I am discovering with my girl! And I love it, similarly to how much I loved discovering that formula was the best way for me to parent Nico.
As a mother of two babies, my oldest being only 16 months, I am AMAZED and a little melancholy at how FAST time flies when it comes to raising children. Before I know it, my little baby girl will be a giant, mess-making, sippycup-demanding, stair-climbing, one year old monkey like my son. She will be off the boob and disinterested in snuggles. The little bunny-slipper, soft-cooing, sweet-breath baby window closes in the blink of an eye. So why not cherish it; every last nipple-sucking part of it (especially since it's going so well this time around)?
Lastly, I am sort of inspired and fascinated by what I am discovering about breastmilk/feeding and am learning some life lessons from this experience. For instance, the requirement to sit still and relax - forcing stress and worry to leave my mind in order to properly "let down" is live-changing! Everyone should learn how to make body, mind, and heart be at peace and rest and calm in an instant!
And did you know that breastmilk NEVER runs out? I could pump all my milk away and then feed her immediately after, and I'd let down again. Essentially, there is always enough for whatever she needs. And often, there is more than enough. Breast milk is like God's grace. Always sufficient and available and never-ending and renewed constantly. A supply given, on-demand. And the more it's used, the closer the taker is to the giver. This is the part of attachment-parenting I really believe in. I think God parents us this way. Kind of like, the more we sleep the more we sleep... The more Selah drinks, the more I have. The more we receive God's love and mercy and grace, the more we want of Him, the more He gives of Himself. Every person should know God's grace this intimately.
Please know, I still firmly believe in schedules and consistency and children sleeping in their own beds. I'm still me. I still adhere to some Baby Wise guidelines because I ALSO think God parents us this way too - with rules and boundaries and consistency. How I am with Selah vs. how I was with Nico is simply, different. Every child is different and should be parented accordingly.
So in conclusion, I'll set another goal and reassess in the spring. In the meantime, I just want to enjoy my baby and the breastmilk kinda grace she gives and takes and teaches me to live by.
Please know, I still firmly believe in schedules and consistency and children sleeping in their own beds. I'm still me. I still adhere to some Baby Wise guidelines because I ALSO think God parents us this way too - with rules and boundaries and consistency. How I am with Selah vs. how I was with Nico is simply, different. Every child is different and should be parented accordingly.
So in conclusion, I'll set another goal and reassess in the spring. In the meantime, I just want to enjoy my baby and the breastmilk kinda grace she gives and takes and teaches me to live by.
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