You're Katherine Pierce

...suck it up.

I am an avid Vampire Diaries fan, all the thirteen-year-old girls and me. We love Stefan Salvatore and Elena Gilbert and love to hate Kathryn Pierce. She’s downright evil at times but when you know her story and her context as fifteenth century Katerina Petrova, compassion and pity washes over you. You want her to find redemption and you want her to make good choices to hopefully atone for all the wrong she’s done. It’s a long story, but in Season 4, she is forced to “take the cure” and becomes human after centuries of being a strong, brave, beautiful, intelligent and cunning vampire.

As she struggles with the vulnerabilities of humanity, she discovers in Season 5 that she is also progressively dying. With old age biting at her pride, she makes an extremely unlikely decision for a woman so strong. She makes the decision to die – on her terms. She’s narcissistic enough to choose suicide over a slow, unbecoming death. She doesn’t want to suffer powerlessly. She's overcome so much by the mastery of her will and the force of her stubbornness. There was simply no way Katherine Pierce would die of something as common as old age.

And as it turns out, she would not die from jumping off the town clock tower either.

Stefan, who knew her as the consummate survivor, saved her. He knew that when he said, "You're Kathryn Pierce. Suck it up," she would be reminded that her name alone held a steely fierceness even those more powerful than her respected. Reminding her of that, rescued her. 

On days that it’s really hard to claim the positive and hope for sunshine or at least an umbrella, I've had to humor my inner-thirtheen-year-old-wanna-be-actress and dramatically, with or without David Gray playing in the background (you'll only get that if you watched the clip), say the same words Stefan said to Katherine, only personalized.

You're Lindsay Louise, suck it up.

Sometimes when we go through heartbreak and hard times – times that make us question our faith, our personhood, our life decisions, what we’ve placed our hopes in – the fabric of our being, it becomes important to tell ourselves who we are and who we’ve been. Because before it started raining, we were somebody in the sunshine. 

We’ve all weathered storms and come out on the other side. We’ve learned from days spent drenched, that the storm does end and that it can't rain forever.  We’ve seen the best versions of ourselves and the worst. And even if the current version is far from who we planned to become, it's vital to hold onto core identity. Those amazing things that make you, you. Those things that make me, me.

Here’s the deal.  I’ve overcome a decent amount in my life.  More than some, less than others but enough to call myself a survivor. I’ve smiled through tears and chosen Love over Fear. I’ve pursued Truth and Justice and Forgiveness. And while I have some pretty significant weaknesses (McDonald's French fries, dark and brooding musicians, salted caramel, Pearl Jam’s song Black, and Vodka Tonic...in excess, just to name a few of the nicer ones), I know I am strong because my heart is still soft toward people, open and able to give and hope, again and again. I haven't fully surrendered to the trap of cynicism or the lies that come from failure. I know I’ll walk through this season stronger and wiser. A better woman, mother, lover, Seeker – I’ll be a better human.

Because, I'm Lindsay Louise. I'll suck it up.

I guess I just want to say today to anyone reading me on the interweb and those who've recenlty messaged me, that whatever you're going through, claim your core. Live to fight and love another day.

We're Katherine Pierce. We'll suck it up.