...PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING
The human body is amazing. I recently had to go to a new doctor because I had several problems, including a bad rash around my neck and a nodule on the left side of my throat. I suspected I was dying but turns out I had a very swollen gland, due to the severe eczeme - all brought on by stress.
In my previous post, I did my best to capture how shitty 2013 was and as a result, my body was screaming for some relief. It reminds me of that Scripture in Luke 19, Jesus answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out.” - (If the people didn't worship, the earth would.) Kind of like if we don't deal with our stresses and anxieties, our stresses and anxieties will deal with us. Something has to give.
When 2013 started taking a turn for the worse, and then the much worse, I had to get a grip on my overwhelming emotions. I had to gain some perspective. At points, I lied to myself to keep me sane for the day. At other points, I anesthetized with wine or food or the escape of a good book. But in the process, I started to gain the ability to take a step back and focus on what's the most important to the least important; things I could change and things I could not. I learned and am still learning what's really a problem. And I started humoring myself with this song.
"I got 99 problems but an __________ ain't one." I started filling in the blank with whatever the presenting issue was that was not in my control to change and in the grand scheme of problems, not really that big of a deal. Sometimes, I made a slight variation - like, "I got 99 problems but _____________ is only ONE of them." And I'd fill in the blank with an actual problem, but a problem that could be tempered with perspective.
Maybe I'm going crazy or maybe I just like inappropriate rap songs a little too much, but it's helped me stay sane. For instance:
- I got 99 problems but your parenting style ain't one.
- I got 99 problems but my church attendance ain't one.
- I got 99 problems but where I put the Christmas tree ain't one.
- I got 99 problems but an acquaintances gossip ain't one.
- I got 99 problems but Nico jumping off the couch 400 times a day ain't one.
It's also helped me gain the ability to prioritize my world and set boundaries for what I can give my energy toward. For instance:
- I got 99 problems but grieving Allegheny Center Alliance Church is only ONE of them.
- I got 99 problems but the sale of my house is only ONE of them.
- I got 99 problems but a friends' heartache is only ONE of them.
- I got 99 problems but an argument in my marriage is only ONE of them.
- I got 99 problems but what we are doing in life is only ONE of them.
I know that still may seem a bit depressing but perspective has been everything; I'm still smiling and engaging and pushing forward and let's be honest, a little rap makes my world bouncier. :) And....I'm happy to say, after medication, blood tests and a little lecture from my doctor, I have 99 problems but an itch is no longer one. (and I no longer have a giant lump in my throat.) I'm hopeful for the day that I only have 72 problems or 11 problems, but as long as I stay focused on the priorities and let the rest go, the perspective will give me hope. And hope sustains all.
Here's to 2014, a year of perspective and hope!
