Randoms (9)

I have to get these things off my chest. They tickle my mind late at night and serve to distract me during the day. Sometimes it's the little lingering, unresolved thoughts that produce the most stress. At any rate... here are my "randoms," part nine.


• My baby turned two last week and was simply an angel face, mesmerized by cake candles, tissue paper and brightly colored trains! His obsession with trains has only intensified after receiving one choo-choo after the other as well as a large train table, which now takes up some significant space in my all too crowded living room. He is bright and hope-filled, full of strong emotions and unintelligible words. He is purposeful and inquisitive, and drinks more milk (muk) than I think should be humanly possible. He tests us daily but he makes us laugh even more. He adores sister time and mommy hugs and dada rough housing. Nico is Nico; unique and special and truly wonderfully made.

• I visited a different church on Sunday. It’s funny; all the analogies of Christ and “His Bride” have had an odd subconscious effect on me. I evidently think of my local church, where I am a member, as my boyfriend. By visiting another church I found myself somehow feeling as if I’ve cheated on ‘him.’ I’m weird, with a guilty conscience. (I was raised Baptist people, cut me some slack!)

At any rate, the new church we checked out was very different. Small and casual and young and media heavy and coffee-centric. I liked it, quite a bit actually, especially the worship which was contemporary but not showy, technically excellent and reverent. I’m so used to ‘big church’ so anything less than a few thousand in attendance is shocking, and somehow refreshing. Big has its advantages, but so does small. I think this is one of those things that depend on the needs and desires and preferences of you and your family. To be clear, I am not making any proclamations of leaving my church. Or church in general for that matter. I’m just feeling out the changes my family and I are going through. And it’s good to explore sometimes. If I do decide to make some changes in this area it will be for the reasons stated above and that should be honored and supported. Sometimes I think the test of a truly free and positive faith community is measures not just in how they build one another up but how they release others to worship and serve elsewhere.

• I think handing out formula to new mothers is like handing out condoms to teens. Just because a new mom has a free can of milk doesn’t mean she’ll give up her breastfeeding ideals (if she has them in the first place) and give her baby the stuff in the same way that an abstinent committed teen isn’t going to have illicit sex just because she was given a condom. Everywhere I turn; people are freaking out about other people’s agendas and then responding with an agenda. It’s kind of exhausting. I’d like to respond to some of these shenanigans with a big “shut the hell up” but alas, that’d be yet another agenda.

• I’ve been thinking about some decisions that I’ve made lately and deeply impressed with this idea that sometimes (-SOMETIMES-) the perceived ‘right thing’ isn’t always the ‘obedient thing.’ Circumventing process may be easier, but may not be the divine purpose intended for us. So often, I just want to make suffering and awkwardness and discomfort GO AWAY for me and for others. But sometimes, doing so actually prolongs the season of pain because it’s IN the trial that perseverance is created and therefor, character built.

• I enjoy this cooler weather so much. It’s so nice to inhale the sweet smell of last night’s rain vs. the stagnant humidity of 90 degrees. This summer has been rough; almost like a freezing winter in that it’s impossible to take my children outside when it’s suffering-hot. Selah, plain and simple, cannot handle the heat. I’m not that much better.

• I look forward to fall like I look forward to getting well. (I’ve been non-contagiously sick for weeks!) Summer hadn’t only been HOT as HELL it’s been rough in lots of ways. I’m ready for a new season marked by a hopeful harvest.

Signing off! Have a nice day

Gay or Straight: We Still Have to Say Something

I don’t know what’s going on. Is this really our world? My world? The world I’m raising children in?

When I read The Help, I was aghast (and reminded) of how not that long ago racial segregation was an accepted part of this country. That hate crimes and rampant lies were spread about “colored folk” in order to further certain group’s agendas. Or ignorance. Or bigotry. Part of the book made me weep. People suffered for the right to be judged by the content of their heart and not the color of their skin.

A big triumph happened when Barack Obama became president. Regardless of your political affiliation, you cannot deny the huge victory his election was for all people who believe in racial equality. We have more room to grow and areas we still need to be conscience of, for sure, but still… we’ve come a long way in a short period of time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about boycotts, and protests, and in what forum it matters or makes sense to voice controversial ideas and opinions. I’ve been thinking a lot about Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. – how he preached and died for equality, how he managed to protest peacefully in and outside of church, political, and public arenas. I’ve been thinking about his stand against the Vietnam War, in addition to his involvement in the Poor People's Movement, Equal Voting Rights and Desegregation. Though it may or may not have been his main focus, he invested in an anti-Vietnam military presence because he believed that “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” (MLK, 1967)

I’ve been thinking about silence and how often evil resides in it. From varying degrees, like the code of secrets in the Penn State scandal to the unmeasured horror of the Holocaust to even this…this current matter of homosexual persecution that we are facing daily in this country. And I’m wondering, why I never tied them, in some ways, together. I’m wondering (mostly because I was ASKED), why Christians (I use this term in a narrow sense, though there are a LOT of us, meaning, those of us who aren’t killing gays, beating the gay out of our kids, sending them to crazy camp, denying adoption rights to gay couples, calling for gay teacher resignations, spreading malicious and unfounded lies about the gay community, crying about chick-fil-a protests while sitting at an abortion clinic screaming ‘whore’ at a pregnant teen, etc…) have been so silent on the matter.

Injustice is injustice. Do we get to pick and choose which injustice (which is easiest/personally rewarding/relatable) or which cause we care about? Did Jesus? I think something happens when we turn a blind eye to hate crimes and bigotry. We become numb. We become hard. We become part of the persecution. We become the abuser. There does come a point when there is no grey, where we have to say I am for this or I am against this and count our costs because our silence, by default, says it's okay.

I know. I know sole-scriptora and the evangelicals view on marriage. I know the ins and outs of that discussion (debate) more thoroughly than I want to. But, that’s not really the issue here. People who believe it’s wrong to be gay or excuse me, ‘practice homosexuality,’ also usually believe that pre-marital sex and co-habitation and divorce are wrong as well. But I don’t see protests and crimes being committed against the adulterers and fornicators and divorcees (in this country at least). The reason I say personal view or preference on homosexuality (biblically based or otherwise) isn’t the point is because it’s inconsistent. Because it’s irrelevant. It’s a self-righteous platform. It's the easy way out, and it's always easier to turn a blind eye to persecution. But it's never right.

Bottom line, hate is never okay. When you are part of or even silent about hate, hate crimes and mean-spirited accusations, you are an enemy of God. Seriously. If you hate gay people but say you love God, you are a liar. Meaning, you hate God. (1 John 4:20)

There are a lot of things on the table here. Faith, love, hate, politics, money, pride, fear so it’s easy for even the moderate, non-judging Christians to dismiss the whole thing out of confusion and lack of personal investment in either camp. I know. It’s where I was about 24 hours ago. Until a neighbor posted an article that made me weep. That made me cringe. That made me THINK. And while I don’t know the ins and outs of “my stand” on the issue, I know my God’s stand on love. And hate.

I know God detests injustice.

"First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist

so I did not speak out.

Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them,

so I did not speak out.

Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish

so I did not speak out.

And when they came for me,

there was no one left to speak out for me."

-Martin Niemoeller

Just because it’s not you or me, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak out. Just because we’re unsure (or not even) where we 'theologically' stand on the issue doesn’t give us a pass in protesting hate, bigotry, violence and injustice.

I guess I’m calling all Christians (or at least myself) to say something. “Even if you're not FOR homosexuality be AGAINST the hate toward it. As in, you don't have to be jumping up waving your rainbow flag to stand up for our fellow [wo]men who are being wounded by this hatred.” (Chloe MacCarty) Let’s keep ourselves away from its claws, the poison of bitterness and the desire to execute 'an eye for an eye' type vengeance.

Learn to do good;

Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless,

Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow.

(Isaiah 1:17 NASB)